The Sickness is Everywhere
by SufferingThePretences
Summary: ...Sliding down the side of the roof, I catch my window seal, and jump inside onto my bed. Tucking myself in, I curl into a tight ball and slowly drift off. This is the happiest I've ever been. It can't last forever. ZADR planned.
1. Prologue

A/N This is my first IZ fanfic. (Confetti and noise makers for all) I'm so happy I finally got a storyline I like! (happy face) :D The only thing I own is Bow and Flo. (nods) Well, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim, ya weirdos!

**Warning: ZADR planned. If you don't like that, hit the back button!**

Prologue

(shortness! D8)

I stare up at the night sky, nothing but thoughts of him floating on the edges of my mind. It was horrible though, he went in his sleep. He never had a chance.

I know Gaz has gotten over it. Or, at least, if she hasn't, she's showing no sign of it.

A star twinkles, brighter than the rest. I frown. Is it getting closer? I sit up, trying to get a better look at it. Squinting, I crane my neck, and yes, it is getting bigger. I gasp, and stand up. It would be no use telling Gaz or that...woman in there. They've stopped believing me long ago. The star continues to get bigger and brighter. I begin to wonder if, from the side, this would look something like a shooting star. It must. So, maybe it is one, maybe it's a shooting star, and I'm about to be hit by it.

I jump back as it hits the Earth in my backyard. It isn't a shooting star at all. I jump down, and catch the gutter, swinging myself into the yard. I hit the ground running, and stop when I reach the ship sitting on--or maybe in is a better way to put it?--the ground. Yes, it is a ship. A few car alarms go off, but are quickly shut off. Why aren't people running to see this?? It's like no one even heard it.

Inching closer, I begin to see details of the ship. It's purple with a strange, yet familiar marking on the side. I gasp and step back. This ship belongs too--

The glass-like area opens, and out steps a tall, green alien. Mahogany eyes lock onto mine, and gloved hands sweep off imaginary dust from his shirt. I take a few involuntary steps back, and his voluptuous mouth opens slightly, forming a menacing, yet somehow attractive grin.

It's him.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Oh, Gawd! This is so short!! DX Sorry, folks, but that's the prologue. =P I'll upload the first chapter ASAP. (which should be pretty fast, considering it's already writen out, and I have plenty of time at the moment. :3 I just wanted to get this up first, even though it is horrendously short. Dx Anyway...This thang should make sense laterz. 3


	2. Joy and Dread

A/N I was losing interest in this one already. (I know, right?) When I signed into my yahoo, and discovered that one of my favorite authors had reviewed my story! I know it's weird to be so excited about this, but I was amazed! I was actually elated to see it, and I celebrated by deciding to post the other chapter. I'd started writing another story with much more fluff already, and it's going to have an MA rating for a...scene. (xD)

Anyway, an enormous THANK YOU with capitalness for Amarthame who gave me such an excellent review!

Another thank you goes out to intelligenceisstupid for being my very FIRST reviewer!

Disclaimer: I don't own it, bishes!! DX

Warning: nothing yet. 8D ZADR planned, mofos. :3

Chapter one

Joy and Dread

I stop, just outside of my dad's lab. The basement is horrible at night. No, scratch that. The basement is always horrible. Nighttime or not.

I wish I had night vision....

Pressing my ear to the lab's door, I hear the soft snoring of my father. Good. He's getting some sleep.

Recently my father (or Professor Membrane as his colleges call him. To me he's just dad.) has been working on some cure. I haven't figured out for what yet, no matter how I troll for information. He always just tells me it's nothing to be conserned about. I don't believe him. He'd been looking tired lately. Extremely tired. Now, he's finally getting some sleep.

"Sleep tight, dad," I say softly, smiling. I walk away toward the stairs, and start up them, "You work too hard."

This had actually been the longest he'd stayed home. One day he'd just come in, and said he'd be working from home from now on. I'd been elated, even Gaz had been excited. That was a few weeks ago, and already it's like we've seen hime more now than we had our entire lives. They pass by so quickly though. Like we're being rushed.

I laugh, just outside of my room now. I don't know what's funny, but I laugh anyway. This is probably the happiest I've ever been, happier even then when I was accepted into the Swolen Eyeballs.

I sigh contentedly as I get dressed for bed. The days really had been going by quickly. Another day gone.... I climb out my window - in my pajamas! - and onto the roof. It isn't that cold, considering it's spring. It's a hot spring at that too.

Sitting on the roof, I can pretend I'm way back when. Whenever I come out here, it's like I'm younger. Like the stars can see right through me, and they see me as the little boy who intercepted an alien message only three years ago. I laugh again, suddenly remembering my birthday birthday is in only a few days. Ugh, and tomorrow is a school day, too. But it was a wonderful spring break. In between stalking Zim - trying to get substantial evidence that he really is an alien - and monitoring other paranormal activity, Gaz and I had spent almost the entire break with dad.

I was as surprised as she was when each day, when he wasn't studying some weird disease, dad would suggest that we go somewhere as a family.

After I allow myself one moment of doubt, I decide to go to bed. I have to wake up early in the morning. Sliding down the side of the roof, I catch onto my window. I then pull myself inside onto my bed. Tucking myself into my bed, I curl into a tight ball and slowly drift off. This is the happiest I've ever been.

It can't last forever....

-------

It is dark.

That is the only sentiment I can possibly express in my state, and for the extreme lack of light. I curl up tighter into the ball I had started in earlier that night on my lab floor.

Something is horribly wrong.

I cough, and sit up, listening intently to an annoying beeping noise. I rise, and begin to walk through the lab. My antennae quirk randomly, trying to catch where the noise was coming from.

Lately, what with the Dib-human being so uncharacteristically distracted during these past two weeks, I'd had much more time to work uninterupted on my latest plan for world domination. I'd been working almost non stop actually, but not so much that the Dib would be suspisious. It was tricky, really. Research just had to be the worst part.

Actually, researching human diseases was the bane of my existence. I'd gone to the hospital, the most promising place to see diseases in all their...germy...glory. It is an absolutely filthy human place. Sick people run rampant, for Pete's sake! Whoever this 'Pete' is. Anyway, it was so obscenely dirty that I had to take extreme measures and wear my germ-suit, and my germ goggles to make sure none got near me. Without it, I fear I may have died. I shudder....Germs....My Irken body has not yet developed a successful immunity to many of Earth's deadliest illnesses. Most likely, though, that's why they were there in the first place. I have an interesting theory about that, in fact.

Let's say that less of the human population died of illnesses in a year, than an alien that had not yet been introduced to said illnesses. The Earth must have taken measures of its own due to humanity's complete ineptity. Foreign bacteria exposed to the Earth back when aliens had come and gone like tourists had taken its toll on the Earth, most likely the result of most plagues and other uncommon diseases affecting plants, and animals alike. The Earth evolved on its own as a whole. Losing only a few humans - compared to the Earth's over all population, of course - did not compare to the possibility of expelling unwelcome beings. So, like an organism evolving to get rid of parasites, the Earth must have evolved on its own as a whole. Clever. Of course, this is just another of my _amazing_ theories.

I shiver, but not because it's cold. I feel the chill deep within myself. Struggling to move forward, I lean on the wall for support. The noise is just driving me mad! If I have to deal with anything else today, I will have to blow something up! Yup. Anything annoying. Like a little beeping noise. Stepping into the control room, where the beeping is the loudest, I see clearly a transmission on the screen. I hit the 'Open' button on the screen. It is a text document. I read through it once.

This can't be....

I gulp, and read it again, wondering if it's only my delirious state that makes it look like this. But no matter how I read and re-read it over and over the letters do not change. It is from Communications Messenger Bow. He has always been the message boy for the Almighty Tallest when they don't want to deal with something themselves. A smile spreads across my face, and I do a celebratory dance. However, this takes a lot of energy from me, so I quickly stop, slumping on the counter.

Exhaling, I swiftly type out a one-handed thanks to Bow, and hit the 'Send' button. Then I head to the elevator to go upstairs where GIR is waiting to ruin my morning with his happiness, and hugs of doom. First, before anything I need to eat. Then I need to decide whether ot not I want to go to school today.

-------

I yawn, and type randomly on my computer for a few minutes. Only a few moments ago I had sent a letter to Zim from the Tallest themselves. He had seemed happy in his response, and I guess as long as he's happy.... I my neck back, I stare half-lidded out the window. The ships outside float by ominously in the dark void of space. No, what else was I supposed to do today?

Being the third tallest on Irk, the Tallest had insisted I stay and work closely with them. I had at first declined, telling them I wanted to be an Invader since that was what I had bee training for, but they had said it just wasn't a job for someone of my height. I was, of course, an _honor_. They told me to stay here. So they could keep an eye on me, I think. Of course, I wasn't the first on there hit list. As if on cue, the door opens.

"Bow," I hear Flo address me. I turn towards her and smile.

"Hello there, Flo," Speak of the Devil, "What do you need?" And the Devil shall appear, as they say.

Whoever 'They' are. She smiles sweetly at me and closes the door behind her.

"It's almost ready. Zim sent me the list of ingredients he needs yesterday," She says mischievously. I share her demented grin.

"Do we really need Earth?" I ask.

"No, but the disease he's working on should be interesting. He says he's tested it already, but on who I have no idea," She shrugs, "It could be useful here," She winks at me, and my smile widens. I take note of her height.

"So you don't want to die?"she hesitates nervously.

"I've grown another two inches already, Bow..." her voice is strangled, and she frowns, fear seeping into her eyes. I hold my arms out, and she comes to rest in them.

"It's alright, Flo, we'll have what we need soon enough," I say comfortingly, then pat her back.

A/N Uwaaahh!! Finally. Don't be fooled by the ending, I'll try to incorporate some Zim/Dib into this soon enough. x|3  
I like to make Bow sound sorta like Kakashi, y'know, sorta layed back. Flo sounds like Saiya from Blood+. I'm having some trouble thinking things up for chapter two, but I shall update soon enough. I really don't know how I'm supposed to make it ZADR yet, but I'll get it. Just have to let things flow on there own....

So, slashiness planned, hopefully there's angst in the next chapter. (I know there's plenty in my next story...)

Until next time, SufferingThePretences - Signing off!


	3. Feeling Sick and Waffles

A/N: HAHA! Guess what I have done? Yes, I have updated!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! In my opinion, this chapter gets a little boring, but I digress. Nope, no fluffy goodness yet. 8P However, I will upload the first chapter of my next story soon, and you may revel in the fluffiness. Bow and Flo are in this chapter, and I may have to get Zim and Dib a bit out of character for the zadr to start. You guys don't mind, right?

Warning: Nothing yet? Wow, this one really is pretty non-stuff-ish...

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim, Jhonen Vasquez owns their meaty brainz.

[PS: btw, Dib is fifteen going on sixteen, Gaz is fourteen, and Zim is...old.]

Chapter two

Feeling Sick and Wandering

I lay back on the couch. I guess I should be getting ready, but what's the point? My latest plan is already underway. The fools will all suffer dearly for doubting ZIIM!

"Maasterrr!" I hear GIR call as he runs into the room, "I callded you in sick this morning, 'kayy?" I frown in shock.

"What?!" I exclaim, only imagining the horrors that he could have unleashed upon the human who answered the phone. He could have given away secrets, or anything. I rise too quickly. A bad idea. My head spins annoyingly and my vision distorts. I lay back down unwillingly. "GIR, why did you wait until just NOW to tell me?"

"Welll, you was sleepin' and you was feelin' sick 'n' I wanted you to get better," He says.

"Okay," I exhale, holding my temples. I have to remember to be patient with the robot, "Now, GIR. Listen. Tell me EXACTLY what you said the the Earth-stink."

"Wellllll, I said that you was sick, and you wasn't comin' in today."

"Is that allll?" I ask, raising an antennae.

"Yeeees..."

"GIIIIR," I say, feeling even more impatient with the little SIR. Why couldn't he just tell me what he said? Why did he have to disobey ZIM? "Are you suuuuure that's all you said?"

"Yeeeaaaaahhhhs..." He says, giggling wildly, and running into the kitchen, "I'm makin' you some SICK waffles!" He shouts, a clatter soon following.

I don't bother if he means sick as in 'for the sick person,' or sick as in 'something no one would ever eat. Ever. No, I mean it, don't eat this. You will gain nothing.' Sighing, I glance at the clock, trying to distract myself from the forming headache. I nearly shoot up, filled with disgust. Nearly. My pounding head stops me. It was almost time for human skool to be over!

"I have done nothing but sleep all day!" I shout, rising warily from the couch. For a minute, my vision goes all fuzzy, pricked with multi colored dots, then it slowly focuses again. It leaves my head with a horribly light-headed feeling, "Maybe I'll just..." I pause, slowly laying back down. Relief immediately rushed through me, and my eyes drooped easily, "Lay down for a while..." I say, my eyes closing completely. I slowly drift off into sleep's sweet embrace.

-------

I walk cautiously down the sidewalk, glancing around now and then in a paranoid fashion. Zim hadn't showed up for the first day back at school, and that was suspicious. He should have had plenty of time yesterday to take care of stuff...or...stuff! Whatever it is he's DOING now! I haven't caught wind of his recent plan. He was keeping it a secret which was really un-Zim like. Usually he would rant about it, or gloat about how he was going to destroy all beings with it. It usually didn't take him this much time to come up with a plan. So, either this one was really complicated, really stupid, or non-existent.

Gaz is walking ahead of me because I'm too slow with my antics. As if she heard me, she turns to face me, probably to yell once again.

"Hurry UP, Dib! I don't have all DAY!" Gaz says, and promptly turns around, to continue walking. Her hair sways as she walks, adding to her dark demeanor.

I sprint to catch up, but then duck into a bush, glancing around again. He could be anywhere! Waiting in the shadows, or behind a sign, or anything! Waiting to melt my organs, or - or - ANYTHING!

"That's IT, Dib! Keep acting like this, and I'm just going to leave you here!" Gaz shouts to me from about twenty paces away. She probably would rather not be seen with me right now anyway. Why do I walk with her again?

"But Gaz!" I yell, rushing over to where she is standing, "He could be ANYWHERE just waiting to--"

"I don't care," she says darkly, "If you want to know what he's doing so badly, go bug HIM instead of acting like some insane idiot, and bugging the HELL out of me!" she ends on an evil note, and turns away once more, this time not turning back when she gets too far ahead.

I frown, not really caring about her put-down. Gaz was just always mad like that. I begin to turn over what she said in my mind, unconsciously walking. Then I decide I am going to go find him, but before I start to head in the direction of his house, I realize I'm already there. 'Well that was quick...' I think, and turn up the walkway. Eying the gnomes warily, I stop when I reach the Men's Room door. Shouldn't he have changed that already? Or was he just regressing? I hesitate. No doubt he would be mad to see me, and I wasn't armed. Schools apparently didn't like it when you brought weapons to skool, even toy weapons. And the Hi Skool stressed this even more so, what with all the violence as we get older. I exhale, reaching out to knock - hoping it's his creepy android that answers.

Luck be with me, it is! Donning it's little dog 'disguise' it opens the door, and stares at me.

"HIII!," it shouts, waving madly at me.

"Uh...hi," I smile, "Is Zim around? He wasn't in skool today..." I let that trail off, looking down at the mechanical thing. when it just stares at me, I speak again, deciding to go for a direct question this time, "So... is Zim here?" I ask again.

"Yeeeees..." It says, followed by an awkward silence where it just stares at me, it's blank eyes looking slightly bemused. In an odd way.

"Can I maybe...talk to him?" I ask, tilting my head to the side, and raising an eyebrow.

"Weeeell, I don't know. Master is sleepin' right now..." It says, as if unsure unless it was given a direct order.

"Zim is sleeping? I didn't know aliens had to sleep," I say, then a realization that was pretty obvious hits me. Zim is sleeping!

"Master isn't feelin' well. He got sick doin' some stuff," The robot says, looking up at me. I frown. 'I wonder how he got sick, I didn't know aliens could contract Earth illnesses.'

"Can I come in?"

"OKAAY!" it says, running inside. I come inside and close the door behind me, "You can have Masteh's SICK waffles! 'Cuz he fell asleep 'fore he could eat 'em." It yells from another room. I wonder briefly what it means by 'sick waffles' before I notice Zim.

He almost looks pitiful, crumpled on the couch as he is. I tense, but he doesn't move. I take that as an open invitation to advance. My breathe catches as I notice how sick he looks. His breathing is low, and spaced apart, and his skin is wrinkled and loose on his face where it used to be smooth and firm. Erm.... Not that I'd know or anything, I only guessed! I mean - yeah, a punch might have landed their once, but! But it's not like I just remembered how his face felt!

"Ahem...erm," I find myself mumbling, and stop.

Inching closer, I notice how relaxed his weak features look. Normally they would look ticked or on-guard. But now I was seeing him with all shields down. He looked almost...cute. I shake my head, scolding myself inwardly for even thinking that. Zim wasn't cute, he was nothing I should get my hopes up about either. Wait, whoa! What the..? Where had THAT come from? I flush slightly, and shake my head. His antennae twitch, and push closer to his head. I resist the urge to touch them. He would surely wake up if I did that. He curls tighter into the ball he's already in, murmurs, and rolls over to face the back of the couch.

I wonder what he's dreaming about.

"THESE WAFFLES IS ALMOST DONE, BIG HEAD!" I hear GIR shout, breaking into my reverie. I duck down, and close my eyes tightly, as if that could make me invisible or something. Smooth, Einstein. When nothing happens, I slowly open my eyes.

"Oh, don't worry about _him_," I hear a lazy, disembodied voice say, "He won't wake up for a few more hours at _least_..."

"Wait, what? Who-who said that? What do you mean?" I stammer, looking around.

"Me, of course, you twit." it says, "And what I mean is that Zim overexerted himself while he was unhealthy." I frown, uncomprehending and the voice from no visible source sighs, and continues like I'm some kind of child, "Which MEANS that his PAK has gone into recovery mode to revitalize his worn cells. He won't be up for a few hours at the most, you simpleton."

"I see," I say, glanceing around again--trying to find it. It mumble something about this being a miracle (the him understanding thing),"Hey!" I shout, and growl unimpressively, "Okay, but who are you?" I ask the voice that I still haven't found a body for.

It sighs exasperatedly, "I could ask YOU the same question. You don't belong here, you are a foreign lifeform. In fact, what ARE you doing here?" it asks, and I awear I feel eyes on me. My skin crawls slightly, sensing danger.

"That's none of your business," I say, to see if it will fall for it. It does.

"Well, I beleive it is, me being the brain of this house."

I nod, grinning, and decide to dig for more information.

"So, this whole house is..." I trail off, waving my hand around guesturing vaguelly at the room around me.

"Yes, it is simply one large computer--wait. Ohh, that's it. You have to go!" it shouts.

"What are you gonna do? YELL at me?" I mock, crossing my arms in defiance. Automatically, mechanical arms shoot out from the ceiling and try to grab me. I quickly try to voice all of my questions vainly, "Okay, wait! Just wait! Why is Zim sick? How did he catch it?" I dodge the arms as they lunge for me, breathing quickly, "What is he sick with and how is--"

"I've had enough with you--now out!" it shouts, finally catching me, and throwing me out the now open front door. The door shuts and the gnomes begin firing lazers at me. I dodge them swiftly, and make it to the sidewalk.

I glance back at the house just as GIR opens the door. I smile. The robot was pretty stupid. Just as I take a step forward to accept this open invitation (you know what they say about open doors!) when GIR shouts something to me.

"DON'T FORGET YOUR SICK WAFFLES!" and he throws a wet-and-sticky looking paper bag at me, then quickly slams the door. The bag collides with my --big?-- head, and waffles fly everywhere. I am coated with a sticky goo, still leaking out of the bag. Syrup. I sigh, and head home to take a shower, my feet sticking to the ground and coming up hard with each step. This has not been a particularly enjoyable day.

At least my dad is home, and he could cheer me up. Right?

-------

I rush down the hallways aboard the massive, anxious to see him again. It matters little that I am four inches taller than he is, he still holds my heart. Lock and key.

The box I am holding is hardly a burdon. In fact, both it and the chemicals it holds inside it seem very light to me. I can't simply ship it to Zim, what with the silly--yet effective--rebelion going on. It might end up somewhere else, and another invader might open it. These chamicals could get me, and anyone else involved in a WHOLE lot of trouble if anyone were to find out we were planning on using them. ESPECIALLY if anyone found out who we were shipping it to.

That's what I am going to speak to Bow about.

Glancing around, I duck into Bow's office. He hardly notices me--too caught up in something he's typing. That's okay, I could simply watch him for however long it takes. Sometimes it takes hours before he notices me, and when he does, it's always worth the wait. I lean against the opposite wall, watching his fingers type on the keyboard, and wait.

The first thing I liked about Bow was his eyes. He has bright yellow eyes that set him far apart and above (in my book) everyone else. The eye color he has is an EXTREMELY rare one. It makes me feel special that they are only for me to look at. His face is rather long, but that is okay, because it matched the rest of his body perfectly. He wore the same head-set I do. It is the same one elite Invaders sometimes wear if they're either on scouting missions, or if they are invading wth a partner. Which they rarely do. His has a bright yellow dot on it, matching the color of his uniform and PAK.

Mine, on the other hand is blue. Boring, common, and drab blue. but he likes the color on me, and he likes my big blue eyes. Wanting to see his eyes on me, I clear my throat. He starts, and whips around. I grin, loving the look of surprise on his face.

"Ah...ahaha...Flo, how long have you been here?" he asks, calming down and smiling at me.

"A while," I say, and push off the wall, holding out the box," I got them."

His eyes sparkle, "How are we getting them to Zim?" he asks. Obviously he thought the same thing I did.

"Well..." I pause, "Teleportation is too risky, and obviously we can't simply send them out to him...so I thought we could fly it out to him. One of us, that is."

"But Earth is six months away at the least! And I doubt the Tallest would let me do it," He says it bitterly,"They're loading me with work these days," he says sadly.

"Maybe I could do it! You know, relive the glory days when I was an Invader!" I giggle, "And I was shorter than you," I poke his forhead, and we laugh.

"Well, if they let you," He says, leaning back in his chair. He sighs, and I can guess why. He's always cooped up in this office. The only ones who ever see him are the Tallest and I. I smile, and step forward boldly.

"I'll go now, and come back when I'm ready to go," I say.

He smiles, "It'll be so boring without you here," he says, and touches my face with a clawed finger.

I smile, and lean forward to press my forhead to his. Our antennae rub against each other, sending a flourish of sensations down through me. I blush,"It'll be much longer for me, you know, I'm the one making the trip. and I'll have absolutely nothing to do for six months," I say, sighing.

"I know, I know," he pulls away reluctantly, "I'll see you then," he throws me a wistful look, and returns to his work. I know I have to leave now.

I smile dreamily as I leave, and rush to the Tallest's chambers. I'm excited. This is the most brilliant plan Zim has ever come up with. And that boyfriend of his doesn't even know about it! At least, I assume they're boyfriends, seeing as Zim always mentions him in someway. But anyway, I don't think I ever could have thought this up. Just by hearing about it, it has opened up my mind to a whole new system of thought. I can think up plans like this now if I wanted to. Now that my PAK has examined Zim's ingenious plans. I stop cold, and hurry forward to the reflective doors just outside the Tallest's chambers.

I gulp. Why hadn't Bow informed me? He had noticed--hadn't he? I breathe quickly and shortly as I stare in horror and study my reflection. Then, quickly, before I make a scene, I collect myself. If Bow hadn't noticed then it obviously wasn't that big a deal. Or it wasn't that noticeable--it was a VERY LARGE deal. I knock on the door, smiling coolly. While on the inside I am having a panic attack.

I have grown two more inches.

A/N: PHEEEW! Man finally! Phoo...My hand hurts...xD This chapter is a bit longer I think. I omitted some of it and I even cut it off for the next chapter, but it's still pretty big. hrrm. Oh well, what can you do? Sorry for taking so long. My brother hogs the compy, and I don't have my own yet. Dx And, Finally, Rachel! xD I was waiting to hear from you, jeez! (lol) Anyhow, I hope you all enjoyed!(There was something else I wanted to say, but it seems to have slipped my mind...oh well!)

Review and stuff, I love your guys's comments!

Until next time! SufferingThePretences - Signing off!


	4. Goo Sha, Fay Lit

A/N: I finally got inspiration! After a long wait, chapter three of the sickness is everywhere! I bet you can't wait, can you? No, I rather think you can't.

Anyhow, enjoy this long-awaited chapter!

Disclaimer: Don't own IZ.

The screen flashes on and off, the bright light contrasting with the darkness around me causes me to squint. I click a few random buttons. When am I supposed to hear from the Tallest? They hired me to do away with the blue planet long ago, but I'm still awaiting word.

I flick away a broken button, and sigh, leaning back heavily into my chair. My scans on the mainly targeted town shows a sign of a strange virus spreading slowly. It looks under-developed, but diseases aren't my specialty.

I rise slowly and move to the weapon chamber, as has been my habit lately. The cool surfaces of the guns and destruction devices always occupy me. The code is easy to remember: JumJum must die. Not that I'll ever get another chance to kill him. This just helps me remember my failiure. That bastard has to be long gone by now.

Each gun sits on an individual shelf, covering every wall is a surplus of guns. Every shelf is full, and each weapon looks more dangerous than the last as you proceed onward. This isn't the room I want to be in, though. I move through the guns, my girth making it hard to maneuver passed the tables set periodically throughout the hall-like room. This was easier when I first designed the room. Guess I let myself go a little. When you don't have anything to do, it get's easy to let that happen.

Finally reaching the door at the end, panting and tired already, I enter the next password: Never forget JumJum. The door slides open, and I'm greeted by the familiar huge stretch of tiles. The room is extremely large, and very sterile. not even dust has occumulated over the years, my computer set to auto-clean the place every few hours. I could never let my death machines get dirty, could I?

Covering the walls, and most of the floor are various machines of mass destruction, each wilder than any Irken would ever imagine. If any invader were let loose in this room, it would be like paradise on Irk. Or, rather, a slice of paradise in the middle of a cold, vacuum such as space. The one I'm looking for is near the back. It hasn't been used in so long. It's been so long since I've just gone free, let my assassin instincts take over and just gone wild. So many will die this time...yes....

The chrome-colored machine towers above the others. It's balanced on four thick, yet graceful legs, guns concealed on almost every inch of its surface. I let my clawed hand move over its surface lovingly, and sigh wistfully.

When will I get to use this?

-----

There is a knock at the door. Again?

"Ugh...get it, will you?" I snap angrily as Pur goes through yet another bag of popcorn, once again letting me take care of things. I'm always the responsible one, and it's making me sick.

"Y-yes, my Tallest!" cries a random drone as I turn back to the screen. He should have finished the damn report by now! What's this news he has for me? What was he saying last time about Zim? This is so infuriating! I am TALLEST! I deserve to know why that dreadful planet full of TALL idiots--I couldn't believe it either!--has yet to be destroyed!

"Pur!" I snap, causing him--to my pleasure--to jump and choke slightly on his popcorn. After clearing his throat, he glances at me questioningly.

"What?" I smirk angrily at him just as a rather flustered voice addresses us.

"M-my Tallest Red and Purple?" says a timid voice. I whip around, still angry, and see the guard once again standing before me. He'll have to boil for this.

"What do you want?" I ask coldly, quite forgetting that I'd asked him to get the door. He cowers, and clears his throat nervously.

"D...diplomat Flo has requested to see you, sirs," Again! SIRS! My anger reaches its peak, and I make a sharp gesture towards the other guards, telling them to come over. They do as asked, and line up on either side of the cowering idiot.

"Take him to be boiled, and ask no questions! I'm in a fowl mood right now," I say darkly, and watch indifferently as they drag him away, "Send Flo in when you pass her!" I call after them, and turn sharply to face Pur angrily. He is oblivious to my anger, shoving a hand full of popcorn into his already full mouth and swallowing.

"You can't just keep boiling people, Red, it's unheard of," he says, closing one eye, and staring into his bag of popcorn as if it had a vital secret to tell him, "Think of something new--what about stripping the flesh from bone? That's one of my favorites!" he throws away the empty bag, to be caught by our servant drone, and taken away. I sigh, remembering why exactly I tolerate Pur.

"Maybe next time," I mumble, eyeing a nervous messenger. He starts, and quickly acts as though he's doing something, but drops his computer. I flash him a grin, causing him to whimper and run away, completely forgetting the computer on the ground. Yeah...maybe next time.

"Goo Sha*, My Tallest," Flo addresses us from the ground, staring up at our platform.

"Goo Sh--"

"--oo Sha!"

I stare at Pur, who is staring at me. He bursts out laughing, but I don't, merely giving him a cool glare, and turning back to face Flo.

"What do you need, Flo?" I ask, my horrible mood seeping into my voice. Flo starts, as if I had slapped her. Well...that was entertaining.

"Yes, well, if this is a bad time, I can trouble you with this later--" the troublesome, tall, INGRATE! I glower at her, but much to my distaste, Pur speaks up as if he speaks for both of us. As if we're equals.

"No, not at all! Go right ahead, Flo!" I hover away to let Pur deal with something for once. As soon as I'm out of hearing range, I start smashing things and spilling things over. DAMN EVERYTHING!

"WHY OF COURSE--FLO--WHO IS STANDING RIGHT HERE, ASKING TO GO TO EARTH! VERY TALL--ERR--EXPERIENCED FLO--WANTS TO GO TO EARTH!" Pur suddenly shouts from across the room. I turn to stare, but then catch his meaning. My mood sudden;y lifts, and I hover back over, grinning kindly.

"Does she, now?" I ask innocently. She looks very confused, "I don't know, Flo, I just don't think--" A message pops up on our screen. THE REPORT! This is getting better and better! I turn away and wave for Pur to stall her as I go through it. Oh my. This is delicious. Just extremely delicious. Not only would we have grounds to execute Flo, we could do it at the same time that we destroy that bothersome planet--with that idiot exile all rolled up in one.

"...and I was all like, 'Huh?! HUH?!' because, you know, it was just so unbelieveabl--"

"I think Flo should be able to take a trip to Earth," I cut in to Pur's story. Flo looks extremely relieved, and happy, "Just tell me, Flo..." I grin mischeviously, "what is the reason for your visit?"

The line comes out--obviously well rehearsed, "Sight-seeing!" I smile.

"Then go ahead and get ready, you have our permission to go!" I say cheerfully, as Pur hovers away to grab another bag of popcorn. Flo bows deeply.

"Thank you, sirs! Fay Lit!*" And she runs off. I'm in such a good mood, I don't even care that she thanked Pur as well. I turn around--to see Pur, staring open-mouthed at the screen.

"She isn't..!" he murmurs, and I start laughing.

"Do you know what this MEANS, Pur?" I hiss excitedly, and he grins at me--obviously catching on, "Have a few servents write up her obituary--get someone to deem her deceased in the system," I say, grinning at the report now.

"Sure thing!" he cries excitedly. And--BAM! Our biggest competition is gone. As soon as she leaves, there will have been no such thing as 'Diplomat Flo' any longer. Purple and I will make a public announcement that she has died, we'll even make a big deal about it--and pretend to care.

He will get a large reward for this--he has done well...

...this Bow.

He gained her trust gradually, and pulled off the biggest double-cross I've ever seen. Well--so far. I stare after Pur emotionless.

The next has yet to come.

WEWT! FINALLY! Kinda short, but I wanted to leave it there for now--but I'll update soon. Man, this is finally GOING somewhere!!

*Goo Sha - Irken equivalent to 'A very good day,' Extremely formal and only used to address those in high ranks. The reason Pur and Red address her this way is to be sarcastic. However, they spoke over each other, so the effect was lost. (fan-made)

*Fay Lit - Irken equivalent to 'And many more,' A common, yet very formal way to say 'Good bye.' (fan made)


End file.
